Hi Everyone,
Yesterday I took little Aiden, my one-year-old, on a slow drive to help him get started on his nap.
He does not like to take a nap.
(He has F.M.O. – Fear of Missing Out.)
But if he does not take a nap, then nothing is fun. We call that a catch-22.
So yesterday we enjoyed a long drive, on a beautiful, soft rainy day in Northern Vermont, where I am visiting my family. And as I drove slowly over the old dirt roads, listening to the sound of rain on the car roof, I thought to myself,
It really is a perfect day for a nap.
But as it turns out, the sound of the rain, familiar to me from my childhood, seemed strange and foreign, even dubious to my little son. The varying intensity of the rain gave rise to curiosity, and each turn of the road gave him something new to gaze at and wonder.
Aiden felt secure enough, because we were together, but I could tell that he was actually a little afraid of the rain.
Buddhist Pema Chodrun says that when we encounter fear we should be grateful.
Fear helps us remember that, in truth, absolutely nothing is permanent. Absolutely nothing is dependable. Everything changes.
So,Chodrun writes, this awareness is more realistic.
I watched the rain blur the horizon, as waves of thick mist twined their way through the trees and over the fields.
Reflecting on Pema Chodrun’s words, I realized that I found the rain comforting because it seemed familiar. But really, that rain had never fallen before and will never fall again in exactly the same way.
My son’s reaction to the rain: curiosity, wonder, even a little fear, may have been a little more realistic than mine, and certainly more conducive to a life of awareness.
This morning my friend Erin Geesaman Rabke quoted a question from Scott Morrison in her newsletter:
“Do I wish to live this moment with as much attention, care and affection as possible? Or am I going to do something else?”
Would it be better to close our eyes and sleep through this? Or sit with it, and really take it in?
Like little Aiden, I have been living in a world of transition lately, having left behind the comforts of my familiar home to travel and find new ground for my new work. And like my little son, I have been experiencing fear at times. Wonder. Curiosity. Wakefulness.
Rumi urges us to welcome all of these feelings with compassion.
Even fear.
Every living thing experiences fear.
Today I ask for the compassion to be with the fear as it arises. Knowing there are many in the world right now suffering in ways far deeper than we can imagine.
From the sound of rain on the roof, to the atrocities of violence occurring in the Middle East, the challenges we all face range from the “simply” unfamiliar to the unthinkable.
Today I ask for the courage to live this moment with as much attention, care and affection as possible.
I ask for the patience to help the little ones sleep, when sleep is due, and for the energy to do the work I came here for.
I am grateful for everything that helps me live with awareness – even fear – and grateful for everything that helps me live.
With gratitude,
Erin Menut